It might not be that bad after all.

I love the internet. After only a short amount of research online, I found the correct method of flaring brake lines that I alluded to earlier. I gave it a try, and lo and behold, it worked. Beautifully. I cut myself off a 3 inch piece of line, and tried to use the tool the correct way.

The first flare turned out near perfect. The clamping die is still causing problems because it swivels slightly offset from center, but I think I can live with the results. The second flare turned out slightly better, but still just slightly offset center. Once I clamp it into a fitting, they should be fine. Now I just have to re-do the front two brake lines, and start getting something done.